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Self esteem is not a thing |
Whilst
the term 'self esteem' is widely used, it is not a quantifiable
thing that can be weighed out and given to people. Rather
it's part of a process. There are appropriate and useful
levels of self esteem associated with any activity,
whether it is socialising, professional work or sport
or skill or emotional life.
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People mean very different things when they talk
about self esteem |
Most (though
not all) people consulting a therapist over these issues
have in mind feelings of low self worth and lack of
confidence. These can have various sources, which may
(or may not) include
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• traumatic
past experiences
• faulty
learning and teaching
• social
skills that need to be developed
• essential
human needs unmet (for example role and status,
attention needs, intimacy etc.)
• difficulities
of life-style and working
• a
range of other associated concerns |
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Effective therapy for self esteem concerns |
• will
make clear definitions and weigh what skills need
to be developed
• will
teach new thinking and emotional skills
• will
show clients how to relax deeply and use imaginative
rehearsal
• will
de-condition troublesome past experiences
• will
not encourage introspection and self doubt
• will
show clients how to meet needs
• will
effectively coach clients in new patterns
• will
develop personally tailored strategies the client
can can go on using through life
are
entirely confidential and you are free to tell as
much as you wish to relating to background to the
problem, though there is no insistence on telling
all as in some forms of therapy. The therapist will
take full and proper account of your experiences,
though will be concerned to work towards the solutions
you find acceptable, rather than dwelling on the problem.
The
therapist will seek to draw extensively on often-unsuspected
positive learnings you already have and will incidentally
teach various techniques useful relaxation and stress-management
techniques that enable you to act more effectively.
Therapy is always tailored to suit individuals and
procedures are by no means standardised, though in
essence they draw on effective best practice available.
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A key feature of therapy at the centre |
is
that it is as relaxed and enjoyable as possible, a
fact that is frequently remarked upon by clients.
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How many sessions will I need? |
Some
people may accomplish what they want to achieve in
2 to 3 sessions. Others dealing with multiple issues
may want to take a series of three to five sessions
initially. We do not commit clients to extensive courses
of treatment unnecessarily and it is our policy to
end therapy when goals have been reached, though the
therapist is usually available for 'booster' sessions
as and if necessary.
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You’ll be encouraged to notice positive effects |
from
the outset. Developments will hence soon become very
obvious and clear.
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